The secrets to successful weight loss are dieting, no social life and exercise. I’ve nailed the first 2, so this week I have been working on 3rd; to which end, I’ve been up and down to Albert Tower like a plunger at a vindaloo buffet. For those not from these parts, Albert Tower is to Ramsey what the Eiffel Tower is to Paris. It sits on top of a hill overlooking Ramsey, and rises an impressive 45 feet high. It’s made of granite, kinda ugly and has no use, but we love it, and walking up to it is a great workout. The only drawback is, you have to cross the Mountain Road to access it, which means there’s a good chance you will get run-over. Still, it’s a lovely scenic walk, with fabulous views over Ramsey when you reach the top.
The other thing I have been doing is a Cindy Crawford exercise DVD. I love working out with Cinds, because, by mirroring her movements, I get the sense that our bodies are the same, and rightly feel pretty chuffed with myself; until I look in a mirror, that is, and realise I am less leggy goddess, more potato. Still, I hope to make an ab one day, so I’ll keep going.
Joining a Fat Club is like joining a cult, and like any good follower, the first thing you should do is recruit new members. Ma, no stranger to chocolate Hobnobs, seemed like the ideal candidate. So, earlier this week, I gave her the lowdown on Fat Club, and told her all about the Points system: that is, the Wonderful Wizard of Fat Club has allocated all foods with a numerical value (called Points); they have then calculated how much each fatty should eat, in order to lose weight, and given them a Points ration accordingly. Upon hearing my message of thigh-chaffing salvation, Ma’s first question was, how many points for a glass of wine? And her second, how many points for a bottle? Needless to say, Ma won’t be joining Fat Club any time soon.
As for me, on the whole I feel physically comfortable with the change in diet; emotionally, however, it’s another story. Basically, I don’t have the same coping mechanism as before – that coping mechanism being chocolate. As such, I’ve been doing a bit of hairbrush waving here and there; mostly about Dentist fees and things on telly. I also had a mini-meltdown at work. The weird thing was, I wasn’t even working that day, but had just popped in to swap a shift with the lovely Lou Lou; it all proved too much, and I stood there waving my hairbrush and giving everyone a blow by blow account of my schedule and details of how tired I was. Lucky for me, the everyone in question were none other than my fellow Fat Club members Daisy and Maisy, who understood my fragile state. I was further reassured to discover that Daisy had been doing a bit of hairbrush waving of her own.
I am pleased to say, all my waving and walking up hills paid off, I lost 2.5lbs this week, bringing my total to 9 lb. Daisy, who is a Fat Club veteran, assures me this is very good. To be honest, I don’t feel any different, and I still can’t do my coat up; but I did earn a silver star at Fat Club, so I’m happy about that. Daisy and Maisy lost weight too – 2 & 1 lbs respectively.
As for Mabel, she was a no show at Fat Club this week; that’s because she has the great diet-misfortune of having a social life and fella who makes triple-layered butter-cream cakes. One night out alone cost her 59 points (almost 3 days worth), most of which I suspect were in liquid form…a woman after Ma’s heart. Ah well, there’s always next week.